My Friend Rosey: The football final

Tuesday

The football final

I love Rosey dearly but sometimes she can be so damn childish.

A couple of our friends begged us for our support on Sunday because they were playing in a football match down on the green. Village footie is not very well supported, so the more people there to cheer them on the better!

So off I went with Rosey with our friend Amanda in tow. Now our mates take their Sunday football very seriously and this week they were playing in the final of the Sussex Inter-village Cup. It was quite an achievement for them to get that far.

We stood along the touchline with a crowd of bored looking wives and girlfriends who shivered and chattered without even glancing at the battle being fought out by their loved ones. I don’t know what Rosey and Amanda were finding so funny but I got the feeling they were hatching some kind of plot.There was about ten minutes to go and the score was nil nil. One of the players kicked the ball out of touch and it rolled towards the girls.I just knew what was about to happen.It was my worst nightmare.

Rosey and Amanda took control of the Ball and started running away from the pitch kicking it to each other whilst almost hysterical with laughter.I was SO embarrassed. I tried pretending that they weren’t with me.‘Come on lads’ shouted one of the blue team, and with that all twenty two players thundered off the pitch and went in pursuit of Rosey and Amanda. I have to admit it was a funny sight. The girls were so skillful. They were passing the ball back and forth and running, twisting and turning whilst leaving the boys confused, exhausted and in total disarray!

Then they started heading back in the direction of the pitch leaving the players gasping for breath.‘Now’ shouted Rosey. They were twenty yards from the goal. Amanda sent the ball high into the sky, and as it began its decent Rosey leapt into the air and with a flick of her head she butted it straight into the net!

Suddenly there was an enormous cheer from the wives and girlfriends who had suddenly found football the greatest game on earth.Although the game resumed, Rosey's goal remained the only one scored all afternoon. As a result the contest will have to be re-played next Sunday. You will not be surprised to learn that as a result of their prank Rosey and Amanda have been barred from attending.

The phenomenon that is Rosemary Anne Pinkerton!

She slithered feet first into an unsuspecting world on July the tenth 1979. Her parents, Anne and Rupert Pinkerton, were so proud of Rosey who was to be their only child and the apple of their eyes! A diminutive child with a mop of blonde hair, and blue eyes the size of saucers.

She grew up in the exclusive area of London that is Primrose Hill. She had a privileged upbringing and went to the finest schools money could provide including Roedean in Sussex. Unfortunately she was never particularly academic, and was a complete no-hoper at sports, but she stayed the course and emerged with a few basic qualifications and a bunch of like-minded friends.

University was not for her, so her parents insisted she got a job, the idea being that she would mix with young people from lower down the social scale and therefore have a better grounding in life. So she got a position as a helper in toddler's play group run in the stately home of her parent’s friend Lady Emilia Jameson. Each day she would welcome the children of the locally wealthy delivered in posh cars by their nannies.

After a while however, she decided to rebel and shocked her parents by taking a job as a cashier in a local supermarket. Mummy and Daddy decided it would be better to support her financially than suffer the indignity of having their daughter serve the great unwashed, and so she left. Until recently she helped out where she could in one of her father’s Mercedes dealerships, and enjoys the use of a rather snazzy two-seater job in the palest shade of lilac. Right now she's a teaching assistant in a local school.

She lives in a beautiful flat overlooking the sea in Eastbourne which she shares with two fluffy balls of white fur and whiskers answering to the names of Fuzzybutt and Scruff.

She’s very green minded and a bit of a vegetarian, but not all of the time! Her favourite charity is a child’s one and she goes to church if she wakes up in time on a Sunday morning.

Rosey doesn’t have a best friend. She prefers the company and security of a group. Everybody adores her, not just because of her scatty ways, but because she has the most generous and caring nature you will ever come across. She sees no bad in anyone nor anything, and that is why we try to protect her from those who might try to take advantage. Rosey has never had a proper boyfriend. She’s had a few on-off relationships, but even in her thirties she’s not ready to settle down.

Rosey does have down days, and it’s then she takes solace in the white wine. Not to extremes. It doesn’t take more than a couple of drinks to set her giggling and bring her back to her fun loving self again.

What will become of her? I don’t know. We don’t know. Even she doesn’t know! One thing’s for sure though. Whoever comes into contact with her will be blessed by her friendship and that is a gift no amount of money can buy.

Tuesday

The football final

Rosey's adventures - click on story to view

Rosey the book!