Rosey has words

Rosey was in a strange mood the other evening. It seems that someone had had said something unpleasant to her during a drama class at her school. As you know Rosey takes her position as classroom assistant to Sally Blackley very seriously, and when she was asked by Sally to take part in a junior version of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet she was in her element! At the time she thought that being too keen was probably not such a good idea, so she answered the request with a line from the bard himself – ‘to be or not to be’ she asked, ‘that is the question – Hamlet act three scene one!’ Anyway, she agreed ‘to be’ and a few days later rehearsals began.

You may recall that I told you about her contribution to the school Christmas play a couple of years ago. She went from being a production assistant to playing a major role, that of the first palm tree on the right next to the principal alien.. Ever since then, the children have insisted that she joins them on stage at every possible opportunity! Clearly, despite her youthful looks, she was a bit too old to play the part of Juliet, much to the chagrin of young Jamey Fothergill who had landed the part of Romeo.

One of the other teachers, Francis (known as Frigid Fran behind her back) always treated Rosey with disdain; clearly she thought that Rosey was beneath her being no more than teacher’s assistant, and was observably jealous of her popularity among the staff and students. She couldn’t understand why she should have a stage part in what was meant to be a kid’s production. ‘For you and I are past our dancing days’ she said. ‘From act one scene five I believe!’ retorted Rosey putting Fran firmly in her place. She then suggested that Rosey play the part of Rosaline, the character Romeo has a crush on in the early part of the play. Rosey was initially delighted! But then she suddenly remembered that Rosaline has a non-speaking part and never even appears on stage.Sally tutted at Fran and suggested that Rosey play the nurse, one of the funniest yet most disturbing characters in the play.

It seems that Rosey’s presence among the cast was having an inspirational effect on the young thespians. ‘O! She doth teach the torches to burn bright’ said Sally to Fran quoting a line from the play. ‘Act one, scene five’ called Rosey from the wings. Fran was visibly riled.


The first rehearsal was a triumph. Sally was delighted with Rosey’s contribution; Fran less so. The children fled from the room visibly excited and enthused by the events of the afternoon.

As Rosy was putting on her coat on, Fran sidled up to her. ‘You are as a candle, the better burnt out’ she hissed.

 ‘Henry the forth part one’ said Rosey ‘and you are loathsome as a toad’.

 ‘Ah’ said Fran ‘Troilus and Cressida! Peace ye fat guts’ she shouted. ‘Henry the forth part one again’ chuckled Rosey.

‘Parting is such sweet sorrow – not’ said Fran as she left the room.

After Rosey had finished telling us about the strange events of the afternoon she opened a bottle of her favourite Chardonnay and visibly relaxed. I don’t know much Shakespeare so the best I could come up with was something along the lines of ‘sticks and stones may hurt my bones but words will never hurt me’.


 ‘Yes’ said Rosey, ’but a blow with a word strikes deeper than a blow with a sword’

 'Who said that?' I asked. 'Aint got a clue' said Rosey,'Cheers!'