My Friend Rosey: Rosey tries to give up booze

Sunday

Rosey tries to give up booze

The other day my friend Rosey contacted several of us regarding a summit (her word) she wished to arrange at which she hoped we would all agree to join her in a ‘dry January’. I asked where the meeting was to take place and she told me it would be at the Bicycle Arms, our local pub. I found this choice of venue somewhat ironic considering we were to discuss having a break from consuming alcohol, but as she correctly pointed out, they do sell soft drinks and alcohol free beer too.

We duly met up yesterday evening, six of us in all. Rosey said she wanted us all to stay completely sober for the rest of the month in order to a) lose weight, b) save a bit of money and c) give the liver a rest. I, and several others I suspect, agreed to join in her campaign whist crossing our fingers behind our backs! And we got off to a pretty good start; for our first round we ordered fruit juices various and cokes. After a couple of bland rounds the conversation went from dull to boring to stop. I for one couldn’t wait to get home where my bottle of very special old malt was wondering where I’d got to!

Anyway, Rosey volunteered to get the third round in, and she wandered up to bar with that faraway look on her face which she always adopts when she’s plotting something. I gave her a minute or so, then walked to the bar and offered to help with bringing the drinks back to the table; and of course, see what she was up to. My suspicions were well founded. Just as I joined her I saw Barry the Barman pop a large measure of vodka into her coke!

And so it was her well intentioned scheme came to a halt. We all agreed it was a non starter. We spent the rest of the evening brainstorming other possible resolutions which went from stupid and funny to hilarious. We ended up agreeing to a) lose weight by walking to the pub b) save money by not paying for a cab to and from the pub and c) give liver a rest by not eating pâté for a month.

The phenomenon that is Rosemary Anne Pinkerton!

She slithered feet first into an unsuspecting world on July the tenth 1979. Her parents, Anne and Rupert Pinkerton, were so proud of Rosey who was to be their only child and the apple of their eyes! A diminutive child with a mop of blonde hair, and blue eyes the size of saucers.

She grew up in the exclusive area of London that is Primrose Hill. She had a privileged upbringing and went to the finest schools money could provide including Roedean in Sussex. Unfortunately she was never particularly academic, and was a complete no-hoper at sports, but she stayed the course and emerged with a few basic qualifications and a bunch of like-minded friends.

University was not for her, so her parents insisted she got a job, the idea being that she would mix with young people from lower down the social scale and therefore have a better grounding in life. So she got a position as a helper in toddler's play group run in the stately home of her parent’s friend Lady Emilia Jameson. Each day she would welcome the children of the locally wealthy delivered in posh cars by their nannies.

After a while however, she decided to rebel and shocked her parents by taking a job as a cashier in a local supermarket. Mummy and Daddy decided it would be better to support her financially than suffer the indignity of having their daughter serve the great unwashed, and so she left. Until recently she helped out where she could in one of her father’s Mercedes dealerships, and enjoys the use of a rather snazzy two-seater job in the palest shade of lilac. Right now she's a teaching assistant in a local school.

She lives in a beautiful flat overlooking the sea in Eastbourne which she shares with two fluffy balls of white fur and whiskers answering to the names of Fuzzybutt and Scruff.

She’s very green minded and a bit of a vegetarian, but not all of the time! Her favourite charity is a child’s one and she goes to church if she wakes up in time on a Sunday morning.

Rosey doesn’t have a best friend. She prefers the company and security of a group. Everybody adores her, not just because of her scatty ways, but because she has the most generous and caring nature you will ever come across. She sees no bad in anyone nor anything, and that is why we try to protect her from those who might try to take advantage. Rosey has never had a proper boyfriend. She’s had a few on-off relationships, but even in her thirties she’s not ready to settle down.

Rosey does have down days, and it’s then she takes solace in the white wine. Not to extremes. It doesn’t take more than a couple of drinks to set her giggling and bring her back to her fun loving self again.

What will become of her? I don’t know. We don’t know. Even she doesn’t know! One thing’s for sure though. Whoever comes into contact with her will be blessed by her friendship and that is a gift no amount of money can buy.

Sunday

Rosey tries to give up booze

Rosey's adventures - click on story to view

Rosey the book!